Therapy is a strange relationship experience.
Every relationship, no matter what kind it is, has one thing in common: being honest and authentic can potentially have negative consequences. Whether it’s your parent, your partner, your child, your best friend, or just casual acquaintances from work, school, or church: if you tell someone your authentic truth, it can potentially damage the relationship. Maybe they won’t like you anymore, maybe they will judge you, maybe they will be disappointed in you. Whether we like it or not, we monitor every relationship we have with everyone in our lives for what we can or cannot safely disclose. When you have something that you need to talk about, to share, to get perspective on, something that is important and personal, something that makes you feel vulnerable or out of control, it makes sharing that much more stressful and dangerous.
Every disclosure is a chance to create connection. Every disclosure is a risk.
The only relationship in the world that actively maximizes connection and minimizes risk is the therapist / client relationship. In this unique kind of bond, the therapist:
- has no other connection to the rest of your life
- is educated about the very issues that you need to explore
- is trained to listen with understanding and empathy
The therapist creates with you a bond of trust, a safe place to express fears, angers, and anxieties, without worrying about blame and judgement. Their only agenda is to be there for you, and you alone.
In therapy, it’s all about you.
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